Modest Proposal #4
Amco V Knees
Paul Robeson Str
Theatre Funding and Development Board
When I come home I want some funding. I'm on holiday at present and I really want to get stuck into a new project. So, I want money for 100's of professional masseurs, one after the other, to publically massage me to Death in the Melbourne Myer windows of Burke St for this year's Melbourne Festival for the Arts. And if we can't make Death, then a complete Mental and Physical Breakdown - or Complete Collapse: I want to be completely unrecognisable to myself: 'Hello, who are you ? Wow, your lips move when I say stuff.' This sort of thing etc etc etc. All live, 24 hrs a day, non-stop public entertainment, family entertainment, for at least the length of the festival. Maybe longer. Depends on the factors. I will also be asking strangers: 'If you would like to be part of an exciting new team and be a Monitor of my wellbeing during this Marathon of Tenderness, and possibly be on Duty when Death or Complete Collapse is realised, please contact me blaa blaa blaa etc etc etc.'
I would actually prefer Complete Collapse over Death because I could tour this to Edinburgh, maybe Adelaide.
The title of the piece is 'Relax, Cunts'. I'm not sure if we can publish that as it is but give it a try.
Baron V Knees